Late-Night Hosts Target Trump's New 'Gold Card' Residency Scheme

Television's prominent comedians used their airtime criticizing President Donald Trump's newly launched immigration initiative, labeled the "golden visa," characterizing it as a clear cash-for-residency arrangement for the rich.

The Late Show's Pointed Spin

Opening his show, Stephen Colbert delivered a mock holiday jingle targeting the president. "He is making a list, reviewing it twice, then handing that list to the officials at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... ruins each thing he handles."

The focus was the controversial initiative that enables foreign citizens to acquire U.S. residence for an investment of one million dollars, with a "premium" tier for 5 million. A government website pledges processing "in record time."

"A quick thought for you to wealthy foreigners: prior to you pay, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He explained that the card is also meant to "squeeze cash" from businesses looking to hire foreign workers, requiring significant payments. "That is a lot of fees, however if you enroll, you additionally get two free nights at a property of your choosing – if it's the that one hotel," he continued.

"The most thorough vetting the government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to verify these applicants completely are eligible to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "Question one: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"It's a card that will let wealthy international individuals to live here," he stated. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get legal visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one major crime of your choice."

"It might be time to revise that message on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your poor masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel mocked the lack of detail of the form, observing it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Indeed, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "That's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Concerns

On another network, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's plunging approval numbers amid economic anxiety. "People gave Donald Trump a second term since they were angry about the economy," he said.

This week, in a effort to address cost of living, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of food items, and reacted strangely to some cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a while."

"Trump is so extremely weird," Meyers said. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by mocking right-leaning media arguments of Trump's financial record. "Maybe rather than complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he joked.